NO FEAR

When things fall apart...I have noodles all over my head...

Circumstances of my life have hardened me and it could have made me increasingly resentful and afraid..but it really has softened me ...All my habitual patterns rooted in fear have blocked this state of open heartedness and tenderness. I have to constantly remind myself to accept the situation as it is and whatever faults and imperfections and stay in the present moment even though the heart has breaked beyond breaking point.

Seeing with the heart what is invisible to the eye..seeing through ego strategies that come into play ..all that is causing hurt and resist life as it is...Bringing order into this disordered life...how do i really transform terror and pain into joy and compassion? Forgiving is easy but the pain still remains...However, suddenly finding the ground disappearing beneath my feet is beyond shocking to say the least. We always say that the nature of reality is that it neither exists nor doesn't exist. It is neither form or emptiness. It's a beautiful answer but our limited understanding of prajnaparamita doesn't do justice to this mind with no resting place..

After Avalokiteshvara told Shariputa that "form is emptiness; emptiness also is form"..he went even further pointing out that there is nothing..not even the Buddha's teaching to hold on to. no marks of existence no sufferiing no end of suffering no liberation...where thence FEAR?? Prajnaparamita sutra read and re-read countless times..written down in gold ink on black paper...Often we all don't want to hear all this and have all our beliefs challenged..very threatening...Avalokiteshvara said there is no final attainment no ultimate no pit stop...Total Fearlessness = Full Enlightenment...This warrior has to learn to relax and gradually connect with the mind that knows no FEAR.....OM GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE BODHI SOHA...So be it...I have just avoided a heart attack.

Stepping beyond fear...all these experiences in this present groundless moment...how do i trust that everything is going to be alright ...moving in the opposite direction of belief is soul shattering...This warrior has lost the battle but the wind still rages on and on...wounded and crawling but still trying to calm the mind and make it think that it is still thrilling to be alive and create more merits whenever wherever...

An sms just popped out of nowhere: Ahh..Fly high dream on..dream on...go out of your office for a stroll and take some deep breaths...You'll be all set with that...

I should just do that ..take a breather from all these heightened neurosis...

"The secret of life that we are all looking for is just this..to develop through sitting and daily life practice the power and courage to return to that which we have spent a lifetime hiding from, to rest in the bodily experience of the present moment - even if it is a feeling of being humiliated, of failing, of abandonment, of unfairness" - Charlotte Joko Beck