ODE TO WOODY

An Old Sailor's Tale

Willy and Karl, two old sailors who had crewed together as lads but lost touch over the years, happened to meet each other one day on the street in a foreign port. After exchanging their greetings, they entered a nearby Pub and sat down to catch up over a few beers. When they were both a bit drunk, Willy told Karl about his last, and final, voyage. Will heaved a deep sigh and then set his beer down on the table and looked Karl in the eye.

"We were a month out," said Willy, turning grim, "when the Boson discovered our main mast had been eaten away inside by termites!" His knuckles grew whiter as he gripped his mug tighter. "They were moments away from crumbling down on our heads, I tellya."
"Oh, for Heaven's sakes, Willy, what did you lads do?" said Karl, imagining the terror of being stranded at Sea with no way to reach land, starving to death... Karl shuddered. "That's a terrible predicament, that is."

"Well, that's what I thought too, Karl. At first, anyway..." said Willy, "but it turned out to be a somewhat fortunate thing. Y'see, the very moment we brought all the sails down to repair the mast, we were suddenly hit by a powerful squall! It appeared so fast, it would easily have capsized us if our mainsail had still been aloft."

"Oh!" Karl exclaimed, "why, that were luck indeed, Matey!"

"Aye... and that's exactly what I thought at the time meself," said Willy. "But with the sails down, the rudder was useless in the storm. The wind turned into a hurricane like I'd never seen before. It blew a hundred knots or more, and we were blown all hither and thither, clinging for our dear lives. Then, the monster winds flung us straight onto a jagged reef..." Willy's voice trailed off for a moment and he took a drink. "Most of the crew was crushed to death on that terrible reef," said Willy, his voice cracking slightly. "I heard 'em all screaming as they drowned or were crushed..." Willy wiped his nose, obviously affected by the memory of his shipmates perishing before his very eyes. "Aye, 'tis a memory I shan't forget as long as I lives. And, were that not all, the reef ripped a huge hole in the hull, far too big a one to patch. The handful who survived were stranded half-conscious on the beach of that island."

"Oh my," said Karl, glad his old friend had escaped Davy Jones' Locker, but mourning his fellow sailors lost at sea in that terrible way. "Sure and that's the worst luck."
"Aye, a terrible misfortune befell us that stormy night, 'tis true," muttered Willy, taking another sip of beer. "At least that's what I was thinkin' to meself when I finally came to, anyway. But thanks be to heaven, six of me hardies and me had made it to the beach, barely alive but breathin' still. The next day, when the storm had blown past us, we found the wreckage of the Ship amidst a tangle of upended trees. But, we also found food to eat. Unfortunately, the worst thing yet happened to us then."

"Good Heavens, Willy, what could possibly go wrong at that point?!" cried Karl. "Sea-monsters?"

"Well, there we were, shipwrecked on that tiny island, cryin' over our terrible luck. A few of the men decided to dig through the wreckage and try to build a small boat we could all sail back to Civilization. So it was there, on the beach, amidst the flotsam and jetsam, that we discovered a huge treasure chest that had been buried under a tree unearthed by the storm. The damned thing was crammed full of gold and jewels beyond our wildest imaginings, making each of us very wealthy men."

"But Willy!" exclaimed Karl, leaping from his stool, overjoyed, "that's fantastic!"
"Alright, alright," said Willy, "calm yerself down, mate. Sure, I admit it could have gone worse..."

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum....it's midweek..hang on in there...

~peace